The Past 5 Months, and Now

I've been away for five months for selfish reasons that I regret. I let my faith in God fade to almost nothing all because I hit a rough patch in my life. To my readers I apologize. At first I was ill, to a piont where I was frequently going to the hospital for tests and different medications. It was then that I began giving up. But, a friend of my sister made bad decisions that hurt my sister, and I let my anger and frustration use this as a "scapegoat." It was then that I lost sight of God and spent my time doing meaningless things trying to separate myself from this world, if only for moment. In other words, I was running away from my problems instead of asking God for help in the begining like I should have.

I had a feeling of guilt and pain that I could not rid myself of, even with my attempts at distractions. 5 days ago I felt an overwhelming feeling and fell to the floor with my face down and begged for forgiveness. I picked up my private Bible in my room for the first time in months and read the passages I felt I heard from somewhere that I do not remember, and in them were everything I had done and felt for the past 5 months laid out in front of me!
And at the very end of the last passage I read it said, "You are forgiven."

In the worst of times, God will find you! When you are broken, He will fix you! When you are on the ground and can no longer go on, He will carry you! When you are guilty of all, He Will Forgive You! That is what He tells us! That is what He has told me after these past 5 months! And it is what I share with you now, in hopes that if you are in the situation I have said, that you may know that God is right behind you with His arms wide open waiting for you to come back and say "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, let me come back Lord, Please take me back!" And then He will pick you off the ground and embrace you.

Luke 15:11-24 says:

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divide his property between them.
"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed his pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son'
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring a fattened calf and kill it. Lets have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."

We are the son that took what we wanted, and squandered it on what did not matter; and God is the father who despite our sins we committed , and filth we are covered in, embraced us the moment we return. Amen.

Thank You For Reading.
Long live Jesus Christ.